Monday, May 28, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
I've had an asshole attitude for a little while now. I'm normally a sarcastic person, so it's hard to see it sometimes, but lately my attitude has been so bad that it is starting to piss off a lot of people close to me. I've been short fused, argumentative, dismissive, annoying, asking too many questions or not even really talking to people, and basically letting very small insignificant things get to me way too much. I can't say that there is a singular reason for this attitude. I've just kind of let little things build up and affect my overall attitude, which in turn affects the people around me. In my 20's it was fun to be the sarcastic one and push buttons, but Joe Public taught me a long time ago you have to live and learn, and at some point you realize that focusing so much on small things is simply a waste of time and energy. Also, having people you really care about getting pissed off at you for dumb things gets really old quickly.
I don't really believe in a lot of things, but I do believe that reality will check you when you really need it. For me that moment came the other night. It was a very simple moment that made me realize that all of these little things that have been affecting my attitude lately are really insignificant in the long run. A few nights ago I got the chance to meet my best friend's new born son (aka my nephew). Something happened during the course of that visit... between holding him for the first time and seeing my best friend holding him... it put things into a whole new perspective. There are things so much bigger than the day-to-day bullshit that has been affecting my attitude. I got the same type of feeling when I held my other niece and nephew for the first time, but for some reason I lost that feeling along the way. Seeing my best friend excited about all of the things he's going to get to show and do with his son just made me see the world in a different perspective. Life is complicated enough without bullshit attitudes making it more complicated. At some point you have to live and let live. Life is supposed to be fun, and that's what I'm going back to. I don't ever again want to be in situations that get blown out of proportion over dumb things that lead to more issues. I'm sorry that I ever let my attitude create those situations. In the end the details that I let mess up my attitude really don't matter in life. There are bigger things in life that should be focused on. By not focusing on those things it's unhealthy and pointless. I genuinely care about many people and things which I haven't really been focusing on as of late. It's time I live healthier... in more ways than one. Reality checked.
Take it easy.